I'm sorry my penis didn't work
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
