he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
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It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
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If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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