Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
