he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
