So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
