I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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