ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
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