she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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