I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
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relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
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How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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