i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
