I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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