I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
