Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
