i don't like sucking hair
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
