I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
