Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
