i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
