Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
