shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
