She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
