Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
