slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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