Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
