Do vagina's smell?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize