There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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