We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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