The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
