The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
