So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
