The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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