I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
