gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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