I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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