he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
