i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize