What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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