Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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