She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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