Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
