Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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