STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize