Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
