i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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