I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''