It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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