We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
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The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER