your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I understand Curling. That high.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
