i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Bring me that man meat
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
