Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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