so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
