Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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