You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
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Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
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I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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