I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
