last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
