i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
