we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
