1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
