super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
