We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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