I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
