I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
