Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
