I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
